It is nice to see Orlando in the headlines, even if it is the News of the Weird category.
To hear the church leaders tell the story, it sounds like a Tarantino film. But instead of grabbing a real hostage, the troublemaker grabbed a eucharist and left.
"It is hurtful," said Father Migeul Gonzalez with the Diocese. "Imagine if they kidnapped somebody and you make a plea for that individual to please return that loved one to the family."
Yes. Imagine! Imagine if that somebody was a beloved goldfish cracker. Or a Combos - that's like kidnapping two people at once.
Here is yet another great lost opportunity for god to reveal himself. It can't be all that difficult to free cracker-form Jesus from the pocket of a college student.
And here is the silly part: Catholics are offended and upset by this story. Protestants (which is my background) chuckle at the story because they know that those Catholics are misguided. "Those Catholics," they think, "Those Catholics need to get a reality check. Jesus isn't a cracker! Jesus died and rose again and is sitting at the right hand of god." And in my head, he's laughing, eating eucharist like popcorn.