I do not intend to abandon this blog. In fact, I very much enjoy writing here - I prefer it to my other blog because here I do not have to hide my atheism (the other one is for family and friends and direct references to and about atheism would be inappropriate). Here I can be totally honest. And right now it seems that the giddy honeymoon with godlessness may be coming to a sober end.
Fear not, you loyal reader or two: I have not given up atheism. I do not believe there is a god. And, as I implied, I wish to write more than I have been lately. My schedule is starting to level out and I have more spare time to share my nonsense intellect with the interested parties on cyberspace. But something popped tonight - I was drifting through my Google Reader and the dozens of unread posts I accumulated over the course of about six hours and I realized that, for the most part, I really just don't care. I'm tired of reading about losing faith stories, I'm tired of seeing the same old arguments trotted out again and again and again. I'm tired of the battle, to be honest.
The arguments against theism are so simple and easy to follow that it is just frustrating when people ignore them. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood tonight, but suddenly I don't care if anyone else wastes another minute of their lives following a nonsense meme that has hung around for centuries like a crocodile, existing more or less in its original form far beyond its expiration date. But there I go again. What do I care? Waste your time and money. Believe that your repetitive mutterings are heard by a magic monster. Believe that someone rose from the dead. Believe that the Bible has survived in exactly the way that god intended for millennia. And you know what? Fly another airplane into a building. Blow your stupid self up for a terrible idea. Who cares? What difference does it make if I disagree? Religious people (Christians hate it when they are compared to Muslims) will continue to swing their gods around like clubs until nothing is left.
In the end, what difference does it make? I would love to know that humanity managed to grow past all of this. But the more I see, it seems less likely that it will. It is very possible that religion is the disease that will kill off humanity, and maybe all the life on earth in the process. Until that day, however, I would like to enjoy life. I don't want to worry about the world. Is Humanity a cause worth fighting for? I kind of doubt it. Ending suffering is worth fighting for. Ending pain is worth fighting for. Ending hunger and humiliation is worth fighting for. And religion is not the enemy there. Religion is working - clumsily and bundled with the gift of shame - to end these things.
As I said before, I am in a bad mood. I may come along and delete this post in the morning. I may continue to care. But for now, I think I'll just look at Christians and Muslims as those suckers born every minute. I'll laugh when they pray before a meal. I'll laugh when they waste beautiful Sunday mornings worshiping hateful (if fictional) gods. I'll laugh at the money they spend and the joys they deprive themselves of.
What is the internet good for if not for letting off steam?