Tuesday, May 12, 2009

slippery slopes to nonsense

This video is painful - mainly because Bill O'Reilly is such a massive moron. This clip clearly shows where Colbert found his comic inspiration. The idea that legalizing same-sex marriage will necessarily lead to polygamy is absurd. Same-sex marriage and Classic Marriage adhere to the same format: two people joined in a civic contract. Polygamy is fundamentally and obviously different.

But allow me a minute to ruminate - I am merely posing a question here and not arguing for or against the issue. But why not allow polygamy? As with same-sex marriage, it really seems to pose no harm to any one. Obviously it would have to be voluntary, but that's a pretty standard clause with any marriage these days. And I can really see no worthwhile objection to any kind of plural marriage. Why not have a little commune with four women and one man? Or four women and three men? What difference does it make if everyone involved is happy?

As I think about it, I believe I may have answered my own question: my main objection to legalized polygamy is simply a practical one. While Bill O'Reilly is completely wrong when he calls the legalization of same-sex marriage a slippery slope, the legalization of polygamy is. Religious objections aside (as they should be), three people are easy enough to put on to a contract. Four, five and six are all pretty easy as well. But what if a crazy, wacky church cult ("no such thing" you say?) decides to all become married. What a legal nightmare! It would take a quarter of a rainforest to produce all of the paperwork.

So there you have it! Marriage is a contract between two human adults. This wording should be adopted into all of the nation's marriage codes, and it should work for another fifty years or so. By then, we will have developed hybrid species, a la Dr. Moreau. Crazy psycho cat women need love too! I leave that problem to the bloggers of the future to solve. I've done my part.

1 comment:

Bronwen said...

here here! though i have no idea why you would use the 1977 version of dr. moreau as a reference (the video isn't working either, by the way). surely 1996 has the crazier psycho cat women? http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51HWEXGA90L._SS500_.jpg